knott's sucks butt.

okay, actually, i knew this before we went. i don't know why the kid is so stuck on this place, but she and her friends love it. i was thinking that maybe it was because i can't really do much, although i've never really been a fan of the place. hey, at least it's cheap to get in. sort of. we picked up 3 of her buddies and off we were to buena park.

as soon as we got there, i let the kids go to run amok through the park at will. i made sure the kid had her cell on her and told her to check in with me in a couple of hours for lunch, and sent them on their merry way. and then the FIRST thing i did was head off in search of funnel cake. i hadn't had breakfast yet, and of course i was ten minutes too late for anything decent, so there you go. and after walking around to about three different funnel cake stands, i hit pay dirt:

i sat down with the park map and my funnel cake, and quickly realized that i was in for quite a long day - with maybe two rides available to me (of course, the boring ones like the sky tower and the ghost town railroad) and a severe lack of air-conditioned, shady theaters to nap in, i was SCREWED.

i walked the park for a bit and then met up with the kids to see if they were hungry...and of course, they were too intent upon riding as many rides as they could. i handed the kid some money and let them decide what to do next.

by this time, it was time to line up for the "snoopy on ice" show - thankfully located in a cool, dark theater. once i got settled (after switching seats a few times to avoid the throngs of camp kids who were clamoring for money to buy glow sticks and kicking the back of my damn seat), i was absolutely pooped. i barely managed to keep my eyes open long enough to see this:

and then this was me:

OUT like a light. it was awesome. because we were seated half an hour before the actual show began (which was also half an hour), i squeezed in close to a full hour of powernapping! i felt so much better...and hungry.

knowing the kid wouldn't be interested in it one bit, i decided i was going to get myself a nice, comfy table for one at mrs. knott's chicken dinner restaurant. it sounds so pathetic, but so does walking an entire amusement park solo for ten hours straight.

and dudes, i busted out a BOOK. hahahahaha! what a loser!

so after perusing the menu, i ordered myself a nice berry punch to go with my 2-piece fried chicken entree. i asked the waitress for a wing and a leg - that's really all i wanted - and she cocks an eyebrow at me, glances at my belly, and says "that's not much meat." thanks for your concern, beulah. but with the salad, sides, biscuits, etc., THAT'S ALL I WANTED. and bless her heart, when she served up my meal, there was a renegade breast on the flippin' plate. i hoovered up the two pieces i'd really wanted and plucked a few bites from the 3rd piece, just because i felt bad, and then i was over it.

and i'm so sad to say that the quality of the food has gone south in a big way. the chicken was flavorless and dry, the gravy was very paste-like, and the biscuits just tasted greasy. i was happy with the cabbage and the berry punch at least, and while the salad was nothing to write home about, it was decent. but the one saving grace at knott's for me is gone, gone, gone. poor cordelia would roll over in her grave if she saw what had happened to her world-famous chicken dinner.

the rest of the day was pitifully uneventful. i walked around the rest of the park, people-watched, snacked on some cotton candy, and probably peed in every single restroom they had available. i hit up the last show of "snoopy on ice" with the intent of squeezing another nap, but ended up actually watching it in its entirety. i was briefly amused by the audience participation in the line-dancing demonstration, and by 8:00, i was toast.

hey, the kids had a good time. and because of the hour, we didn't hit any traffic whatsoever coming home. and today? we're off to the beach. at least i can nap there, no problem. muahahahahaha!