freaky friday

what a wack ass day.

the bean and i got up and headed over to the gym to continue training - for her, getting used to new faces without me around at the kids' klub, and for me, getting used to doing more than walking from the living room to the kitchen to get a cookie.

but right as i found a sweet parking spot and was getting her out of the car, my phone rang, and it was the kid. immediately concerned (because it was 8:40, and school starts at 8:25), i answered and she was totally upset: "mom, are you home? can i come home?"

i panicked - there've been so many freaky news stories lately about kids being attacked on their way to school, school shootings, etc. i kept asking her if she was okay, and she was crying so hard that it was damn hard to understand her. i finally figured out that she was okay (physically, at least) and was already at the house, waiting for me with her dad's girlfriend.

and then it came to me - i'd called and talked to her father before leaving for the gym and while it seemed like a perfectly normal conversation, he DID say that he was going to try to catch her before she got to class to ask her a few questions. shit.

so, of course, i hopped right back into the driver's seat and hightailed my ass right back home. once i got there, the girlfriend walked over and said "we were at school but she needs a few minutes to compose herself." i took one look at the kid and decided to keep her with me - those phone calls with her father so often get ugly, and i knew she was going to need more than "a few minutes" to calm down.

she got into the car, i pulled her into a giant hug, and the tears were a-flowin'. sure enough, her father had managed to catch her right before the bell rang, a-yellin' and a-screamin' and basically making her feel like absolute shit. poor baby. i started the car, gave her another big hug, and we went out to grab some breakfast while she told me all about it. i gave her the choice of whether or not to go to school (um, yeah, duh) and she gave me a sad, watery smile when i told her she was getting a "mental health day" off.

i knew i'd probably catch hell from the hub and her dad when they found out (her grades have been slipping and she really needs all the classroom time she can get these days), but i honestly couldn't see her being able to concentrate and focus after her morning had gotten off to such a fucked-up start. i know i'd have been all discombobulated.

back at home, i sat the bean in her jumperoo while we ate, and i giggled at the unmistakable sounds of poo. yes, i have the sense of humor of an 8-year-old boy. as soon as she was done, i plucked her out and took her to the nursery to get her changed. i popped the snaps on her little outfit open, pulled her arm out, and noticed that the back of her arm was COVERED IN POO.

ack!

this picture is actually from last weekend, when the hub and i dissolved into uncontrollable laughter as we gave the bean a tiny taste of ketchup. oh, so funny.

i rolled her over and she'd totally blown right out of her diaper - there was poo smeared all. over. her. body. ew. wipes weren't gonna help here - she needed another bath.

but the thought of having her wading in poo-filled water was gross and wrong. i decided to take her into the shower with me instead, just like the good old days.

i opened the shower door to find a giant bug on the floor. no, i didn't bother to throw a shoe at it, or wash it down the drain. instead i screamed, slammed the door shut, and took her into the kid's bathroom to shower there. the kid finally cracked a genuine smile and remarked "boy, mom, today just isn't your day, is it?" heh.

we spent the day hanging out and working on her homework that was already assigned - the school's website already had all of the assignments posted on each of her class pages. the internet is truly magical. then at the end of the school day, we went to drop off the previous day's homework, which scored her some brownie points with some of her teachers.

phew. just such a weird day. but to end it on a happier note, here's a picture of the bean shopping at nordstrom - just for the monkey.

i was too cheap to spend the $24 on this adorable small paul onesie, but i wasn't too embarrassed to snap this picture. heh.