oh, the memories.

when i was little, i wanted to be farrah fawcett.

in the 70s, when she was in "charlie's angels" (for only one season!), my family was on the east coast, where the diversity that we enjoy here in sunny soCA wasn't exactly present. i totally didn't realize that there were all sorts of different ethnicities out there, and being fairly certain i wasn't black, i was completely convinced that i was white. it makes me cackle now.

i watched that show as often as i was allowed to, and i longed to be just like farrah, tossing all that gorgeous feathered hair around and flashing that winning smile. and, of course, kicking ass and getting the bad guys by the end of the show. and then i found out that she was married to the bionic man? holy shit! how cool was that? she was totally my hero.

of course, being all of five years old, my attention span was pretty damn short, and when she was replaced by cheryl ladd the following season, i went with the flow and forgot all about farrah. awww.

when i was seven and a half, we moved to sunny california. i remember saying goodbye to my friends, and one rude ass little boy whose name i don't even recall telling me "see ya. hope you don't die in an earthquake." i thought he was such an asshole.

anyway, that was the year that michael jackson's "off the wall" came out. it's also the year the hub was born, heh. and whenever i hear "don't stop 'til you get enough," it instantly takes me back to that first summer in california. i think of living in that tiny, 2-bedroom apartment in pasadena, stuffed to the gills with entirely too many family members all under one roof. of course, i was seven and it was totally fun to me to have so many people to play with.

and then, a few years later, "thriller" was released. and i LOVED that album. i played it over and over again and learned all the words to all the songs. that was back in the early days of mtv - you know, when they actually played *gasp* music videos? there were a few shows on local tv that featured music videos for a solid half hour every day, too, for those who didn't have "pay tv." i was glued to those shows, and marveled at MJ's moonwalk and awesome choreography.

every song on that album is awesome. each one brings me back to a time in my life when all i had to worry about was getting my homework done, what i was going to wear to school the next day, how to catch the eye of the boy i was crushing on, what to do during recess with my friends. it was an innocent time before credit cards and car payments and taxes, and while i love my life now, it's always fun to reminisce about the old days. and one of the last routines i got to learn and work on with my cheer squad in high school was to MJ's "bad." i still remember bits and pieces of the beginning of the routine, and it always makes me smile.

okay, in his later years, he was super bizarre and weird. and yeah, that whole child molestation thing was awful - although a part of me still doesn't want to believe that he knowingly did anything wrong. i mean, the guy was never allowed to be a kid! he was worked like a dog from the time he was like 10, and that's when you're supposed to be out having fun, playing with your friends, doing the kid thing. i'm pretty sure that if i were placed under constant public scrutiny on a daily basis from childhood on, i'd be pretty fucked up too.

but at the end of the day, this was MICHAEL JACKSON! there was a time when the entire world loved this man. he was someone's father. somebody's son, brother, uncle, friend. and it makes me sad to know that he's gone.

rest in peace, farrah and michael. thanks for being part of my childhood.