a little housecleaning

and no, i don't mean vacuuming and dusting. psh. do you KNOW me at ALL?

i owe one wonderfully patient reader a response on a comment she left for me ages ago. pink maintains a couple of cute blogs, and she listed me in one of her cooking posts, nominating me for the "kreativ blogger" award. sweet! thanks so much for thinking of me!

now, part of the rules for accepting this award involves sharing seven interesting facts about me. i ask you this: could there possibly be any more information about me that's even remotely interesting that i haven't already discussed ad nauseum in this blog? really??

well, now, let's see. i'm sure i can come up with something. we've already established the fact that i love to talk about me, so you get to read yet another entire post devoted to my very favorite subject in the entire universe.

1. i didn't learn how to ride a bike until i was ten years old. the teen just loves to tease me about this sad fact. and ironically, the man who taught me this uber important life skill was the very same who caused so much upheaval in my life last year - let's just call him "chester," mmkay?

2. i might still be married to the ex, insecure and totally convinced i couldn't do any better without him, and a sadly wimpy mouse who couldn't express her own opinion about anything, if not for the influence of two former co-workers. the first became my best friend (i'm sad that our lives have taken us in different directions and haven't been able to stay in touch as much as we used to). she helped me build up my self-confidence and realize that life was too short to live it in such an unhappy state. i owe her my life. and the other - *sigh* - was a ridiculously gorgeous man who was super flirty and made me feel really good about myself as a woman - and not in the halle-berry-in-monster's-ball "make me feel good" way. no, we never did anything, but whew - he was hot. i still smile when i think of him.

3. despite years of ballet and jazz dance lessons as a little tyke, i am a terrible dancer. sure, i can move to the beat and keep up with the rhythm, but that's about as good as it gets. again, the teen loves to poke fun at me on the dance floor, mimicking my sad little two-step routine. i always want to dance, but i'm so bad at it that i just...don't.

4. i'm absolutely terrified, petrified, scared of bugs. any kind, especially spiders, but anything with creepy ass long legs freak me the hell out. fake bugs, bugs in movies or on tv shows, pictures of bugs, i can't handle any of that shit. and if i'm not somewhere that i can't holler for the hub to come and take care of it for me, i'll just leave. damn skippy.

5. there isn't a single day that goes by that i'm not insecure about my appearance. i could be having a fabulous hair day, but maybe my eyebrows might need some shaping. or i'll be rocking an awesome outfit, but i'll still need to suck it in so i don't have the dreaded muffin top. i still cringe at pictures of our wedding day. my hair was craptastic and i wasn't pleased at all with my make-up. and wow, could my arms be any chubbier looking? ew. and i obsess endlessly over what to wear to gatherings, even those with my closest friends or even family. everyone always looks better than i do, in my opinion.

6. like jack osbourne, i do a fist pump and cheer enthusiastically when mcdonald's brings back the mcrib sandwich. i love that overprocessed, shaped and formed, bbq sauce-smothered, mystery meat sodium bomb. when it's available, it's a major dilemma between that and a filet o'fish.

7. i type 120+ wpm. yeah, i racked my brain and that's pretty much all i could come up with for #7. exciting, huh? and i took typing class back in the days when we worked on those gigantic PCs and it was called "word processing." pwah!

the rest of the rules for this award are here:

• thank the person who has given you the award
• copy the logo and place it on your blog
• link to the person who has nominated you for the award
• name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting
• nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers
• post links to the 7 blogs you nominate
• leave a comment on which of the blogs to let them know they have been nominated

i've gotten a lot of inspiration from fellow bloggers lately. i doubt any of them will have the time or inclination to follow all of the rules, but here are my nominees:

• winnietallica. she's a dear friend, and an awesome photographer. the teen and i both love to ooh and aah over her fantastic work.
• my last bite. she introduced me to the concept of bacon ice cream, and although i haven't had the chance to try it again with her suggestions on how to improve upon my last batch, i still think she rocks.
• not without salt. i've never even commented on this blog, but the discovery of bacon caramels alone deserves some sort of recognition from me. mmm, i need to make some more of those.
• smitten kitchen. i owe deb a whole lotta praise for a whole lotta dinners, not to mention the kick in the ass to finally try baking bread with yeast (via those wonderful brioche buns). amazing.
• weezermonkey. i know she's busy as hell and doesn't have time to fart around with stuff like this, but a list of fabulous blogs wouldn't be complete without her.
• tasty tater talks. i confess that there are times when i haven't the foggiest idea what she's talking about (like when she's in school and has a minute to blog, only i'm so lame i don't really get it), but i love tater and i love her blog. so there.
• cooking4carnivores. when the teen decided to go veg, i went on a hunt for creative recipe ideas and came across this blog. she's veg, her hub isn't. so she writes fun posts about how she handles mealtimes. most excellent.

whew! i'm spent. accepting awards and following rules aren't tasks i'm accustomed to. obviously.