you are SO gah-reeeeeeaaaaasssss-ay.

so because the start time for our down & dirty mud run wasn't until 9:45, we were able to enjoy a nice, leisurely morning.  while the hub slept in, the bean and i headed out to take advantage of the free breakfast.  and i was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn't just pastries and coffee:

although we were only about 5 miles away, i knew that we'd likely hit some kind of traffic and/or difficulty in finding a parking spot.  so we left a good 45 minutes early, and sure enough:

but because the hub is a rock star, he managed to find us a pretty awesome spot not too terribly far away from where we needed to be.  good thing too, because we were lugging chairs and towels and a big ol' bag of stuff.

as we approached the start line, the first wave was lining up.  and due to unforeseen circumstances that left the teen at home, the hub and i had to split up so that one of us could be with the bean until her race started.  since no one was checking assigned start times (and the sticker that said i was in the 9:45 wave was stuck on the back of my bib, out of sight), i scampered over and snuck right in.

the only real complaint i have about this race was that there was far too much time from the release of one corral to the next.  i was a good girl and placed myself in the proper corral based on my usual pace, but as time ticked away i kind of wished i wasn't such a goody-goody rule follower all the freaking time.  it was a good 20 minutes before i finally crossed the timing mat.

the first stretch of the course kind of sucked, as we had to climb up and over countless little mounds throughout the park.  and then we hit the dirt and it got a little easier - until the first obstacle came into view:

what is that, you ask?  well, it's a series of tunnels that were killer on my poor knees, and then a butt ass cold pool of water that i had to slosh through while ducking underneath a cargo net.  i mean, i knew there would be some sort of water obstacle, but damn - at least let me warm up a little.  and it was pretty chilly that day, too.  for southern california, anyway.  i was freezing my ass off.

off in the distance was the next obstacle - an easy one, though.  just a ladder wall to climb up and over.

sandbags.  i hate sandbags.  moreover, i hate having to pick one up and carry it while running.

but it got worse.  i'd read that the first mile consisted of some gnarly ass hill, and mr. lilcee had warned me that it would be a little tough.  "a little"??  holy shit.  and this wasn't even the steep part.

and look - i wasn't even a third of the way done yet.

inflatables to climb over.  easy.

oh, and a low wall.

i was huffing and puffing like an old lady by this point, so i was really glad i hadn't punished myself with the longer course.

especially when i got a glimpse of the next hill.  good googly moogly, people.  at least it offered a lovely view.

another inflatable to climb!  this one was much more fun.  up the ladder on one side, down a slide on the other.

after another jog through what looked like a picnic area, an unexpected mud pit.  okay, okay, yes - this is a mud run.  but i wasn't expecting this gooey shit till just before the finish line.

the good news was, it was all downhill from here on out.  i finally felt good enough to pick up some speed and hopefully gain back some of the time i'd lost while trekking up the mountain at a snail's pace.

another fun obstacle.  it looked like this on both sides.

lemme tell ya, it gets challenging trying to climb a wall when you're all slippery and slimy from a mud pit.  but i did it.

from here, the music and announcer and hordes of people could be heard cheering us all on.  i could see the finish line area.  but it was all an illusion - because i turned a corner and found myself facing a second water obstacle.  damn.  at least it washed a lot of the mud off, though, right?

and unlike spartan, this water only came up to my waist for the most part.  but the mud at the bottom was super gooey and slippery and it was pretty rough going.

i was pretty happy to finally climb out of there, and headed over to the next obstacle:  the slippery mountain.  the rope was just out of my reach, and i really had to work to grab ahold of it to climb myself up.  except that i hadn't realized that i was expected to shimmy up the thing on my front, which i learned as the drill freaking sergeant barked "ON YOUR BELLY!" at the top of his lungs.  you can see how seriously i took his ass.

then it was finally time to go through the dreaded mud pit.  i had to crawl underneath a net, crawl into the sticky stuff, and make my way across while ducking underneath the flags.  so yucky.

yay, i made it!

it had taken me longer than i'd expected to get through that thing, thanks to those damn hills.  this gave the hub just enough time to high-five me and head over towards the start for his turn.  good thing i'd hopped into that earlier wave after all, huh?  anyway, i didn't want to scare him off and just told him to be careful as he took off.  i managed to catch a glimpse of him as he waved to me and the bean after the gun went off.

speaking of the gun, the bean was most definitely not a fan.  "it sounds like a cannon," she said.

we went over and watched people make their way through the mud pit for awhile, and then it was finally time to line up for her 100-yard dash.

she was pretty excited, but kept getting pissed at me when i happened to touch her with my muddy digits.  "mooooom, you're getting me all dirty!" she complained.  kid, you have no idea how messy you're about to get.  just you wait.

the course for the littles was really cute and not intimidating at all.  they chose not to start them off with the loud ass gun, which was a very wise decision on their part.  and the obstacles were easy enough for the kids.  first, duck underneath the matchbox banner.

next, crawl under the cargo net.

i was a little concerned about the wall climb, but she handled it like a boss.

time to get muddy!

that's a wrap, folks.

 such a crack-up.

after a trip through the human car wash and a quick wash with the freezing cold water from the hoses with zero water pressure, we gave up on getting clean and wrapped ourselves in our towels while we waited for the hub to finish.

"mom, what the hell did you just make me do??"  (remember that this was HER idea)

we managed to catch a glimpse of the hub as he completed the slippery mountain obstacle, and cheered him on as we watched him navigate his way through the mud pit.  when he finally came back to us as we sat on our chairs, he was just spent.  those hills had kicked his ass as hard as they had mine, but he agreed that the obstacles had been easy and actually pretty fun.  and i was so proud of both of them for conquering the muddy, crazy courses.

look at this!  ew.  it took for-freaking-ever to wash that crud out of my hair.  it was gross.

i'm pretty sure that the maids who were unfortunate enough to be assigned to our room were really annoyed at us for the mess we left behind.  we tried our best to get cleaned up without leaving too much residue, but it was damn near impossible.  so we left them a little note to say sorry and a little suh-in' suh-in' for their trouble.  hopefully it helped ease the pain a little.

after grabbing a quick lunch in a nearby drive-thru, i looked back and saw this:

now that's the sign of a successful morning.