an open letter to my firstborn

my dearest, most incredibly awesome daughter,

i don't think the words exist yet that describe how much i love you. from the very moment you were born, i took one look at that wrinkly, wiggly itty bitty bit of a thing and knew that there was pretty much nothing i wouldn't do for you.

not much has changed. well, you aren't wrinkly or itty bitty anymore, but i am still (and will forever be) your biggest champion. we've been through some struggles together and i'm pretty sure there have been times that you just wanted to tune me out, plug your ears and go "LALALALALALALA," but we just power through and come out even stronger in the end. 

watching you go from infant to toddler to preschooler to "the kid" and then "the teen" has been such an honor and a privilege.  life with you is never dull, my dear. and i wouldn't have it any other way.  also, what the hell am i gonna call you here when you aren't a teen anymore?  hmmmm.

i'm grateful to you for teaching me so many things. with you, i learned how to be a mother - from the basics like feeding and diapering to figuring out how to discuss sex and drugs and boys and then how to deal with the fact that you're more like your mother than we ever realized (sorry 'bout that). being your mom has taught me how to walk that fine line between parent and friend, when to push and when to back off. with you, i also figured out that it's okay to have the most carefully-laid plans go slightly awry. 

i still can't get over the fact that you're an adult now. you're a high school graduate! holy shit. where did the years go? it seems like just yesterday that you headed off to class for your very first day of kindergarten. 

and now look at you!

it is going to be so much fun watching you step out into the world and try your hand at whatever catches your attention. there's so much out there for you to see and do and learn, and guess what?  it's okay to make mistakes. really. just hold your head up and keep on keepin' on.  and we will always, always be here for you.  now remember:

you is kind

you is smart

you is important 

come on, you didn't think i was gonna be able to keep this 100% cheese-free, did you? i sure hope you know me better than that by now. pshh. 

love always and forever,

mom <3 nbsp="">

so, this happened

i'm still processing, guys. so emotional. 

be back tomorrow. 
 

open wide

last week, i was forced to suck it up and face one of my biggest fears in life:

dun dun dunnnnnnnn!

you guys, I HATE going to the dentist. and i should probably be ashamed to admit how long it'd been since my last visit. seriously, it's an embarrassing length of time. but as i was sitting in the bleachers at the bean's gymnastics showcase, i popped a piece of gum in my mouth and was hit with a crazy wave of pain in one of my back teef. it was seriously intense, and i knew that i simply couldn't avoid it any longer.
 

i managed to find a dentist just down the street who had good yelp reviews (shut up, that's important!), accepted my insurance and even had an opening for me that very afternoon. sold. 

before i could chicken out and decide that i could just power through the pain like i've done in the past, i found myself here.

it was not my finest hour, people. 

but it wasn't as bad as i'd expected. after taking 18 freaking x-rays, we learned that i have zero cavities (something about having an alkaline mouth instead of acidic.  i dunno) but that my lower (super duper impacted) wisdom teeth need to come out. quadrant deep cleanings come next, and then regular visits after that and i'm good to go. 

a few days later, it was the bean's turn. i was even more nervous for her based on past experience, but as it turns out, she's definitely grown up and gained more confidence. 

of course, it helped that she had her brand new rapunzel doll by her side. and then it was even more awesome when she laid back in the chair and caught sight of the movie playing on the monitor just above her:  "tangled."

the hygienist was really sweet and friendly, and put her at ease right away.
 

i dreaded the x-rays for her, after just having gone through the gag-inducing process myself. happily, hers went a lot more smoothly...and quickly. just five-ish for her as opposed to my 18.  plus, her little lead apron was way cuter. 

cleaning and polishing, check!

after an easy exam with the dentist, she got to pick a prize from the treasure chest and accepted a little bag with new dental gear inside. 

unlike me, however, a thorough examination of her x-rays revealed a few small cavities. we also got a sneak peek at the adult teeth that are steadily making their way to the surface. her bottom two front teeth are starting to wiggle ever so slightly, which has her over-the-moon excited. 

looks like her very first visit from the tooth fairy is in her not-too-distant future!

showcasing the skillz

it's hard to believe that the bean has been taking gymnastics classes for three years now. that's, like, more than half her life!  crazy.

she's come a really long way since her days in the "little gym" next door. it's been really fun watching her go from being skittish on the bars to standing with confidence on the high beam without having to hold someone's hand. 

so it was especially awesome watching her perform at this year's showcase. last year, she was in the oldest class in the little gym - but she advanced to the big gym several months ago and is kicking ass. the theme this time around was "the roaring 20s," with shiny red leotards for all. 

after dropping her off with her coach, i joined the teen and MIL high up in the stands. i waved at her from our seats so she knew where we were. 

she seriously kills me. such a ham. 

after they were done with their little dance routine that doubled as a warm-up, they took their turn out on the main floor with the equipment set up just for their class. each group was given five minutes or so to strut their stuff and show off their skillz. afterwards, they scampered together to take a bow and accept their participants' medals. too bad we were on the wrong end of the gym. 

but as luck would have it, i had a secret weapon: a friend seated on that side with a camera at the ready. 

she was more than happy to pose for me with her prize. well, sorta. 

yup. 

okay, for real though. 

outside, she got silly with her sister. 

then she indulged me and gave me this:

i can't wait to see what she'll be doing at next year's showcase.

testing, testing, 1-2-3

i downloaded an app on my phone that supposedly will allow me to publish blog posts with pictures. let's put it to the test, shall we?

here, have a random picture. 

did it work?

mini cee, kay-ee-why.

why?  because we like you.

one of the bean's favorite people in the whole wide world, sweet little mini cee, turned 4 yesterday.  the hub and i zoomed home from our ojai getaway in order to meet up with MIL and the girls at travel town, the venue for mini cee's birthday bash 4.0.  when we got there, the party had just started and they were already out and about, exploring the trains on display.

another bonus was finally catching up with nanette and her family, who moved back to the l.a. area a few months ago.  it was really fun watching the bean and em reunite and get reacquainted.  obviously, it didn't take long for them to remember how much fun they have together.

lilcee had done a fabulous job as always with the decorations.  avoiding the obvious "thomas the train"-theme typically done at this park, she opted to follow mini cee's girly style, with some disney thrown in for good measure.

joined by dailygluttony and her family, the kids had a great time together with the help of a cart borrowed from the city of los angeles.  it was comical watching them take turns pulling each other around.  reminded me of mini cee's party last year.

time for cake!

we were sad to have to leave the party early, but the bean's annual gymnastics showcase was that same afternoon.  of course.  but we were happy to have been able to join in the fun for a little while, and now that we've seen once again how much fun the kids have together, we'll have to plan more playdates soon.  i mean, how cute is this?

then on mini cee's actual birthday we met up with lilcee & co. at disneyland.

lilcee and i indulged in an adult beverage before sucking it up and waiting forty minutes for the toy story ride.

happy birthday, mini cee!  hope you're making the most out of birthday princess week.