a shitty lunch date

have you heard about the crazy new restaurant that's...uh, restroom-themed?  it's been all over social media and in those news segments that they do to fill empty space when there's no actual news to report.  the main draw to this place is that the booths feature decor like tile walls and showerheads and toilets to sit on, and the food is actually served IN miniature toilets. it's, of course, an import from asia...you know, where all the best novelty shit (pun absolutely intended) comes from.

anyway, it just so happens that the magic restroom cafe, as it's called, is right here in southern california. even more awesome? it's only about 15 minutes from my house.  when the teen heard about it, her reaction was the very same as mine:

"WE'VE GOTTA GO."

one of the bean's friend's moms at school happens to be a local radio personality who i really like chatting with.  she's super sweet and fun to talk to, and as we sat at one of the football games watching our girls cheer, the subject of the toilet restaurant came up.  we ended up making a date to go and check it out together...all in the name of "research," you know. she could report about it on-air,  i'd turn it into a fun blog post, and everyone would come out a winner!

we were stupidly excited for this outing. i never knew the notion of eating from a toilet could be so appealing. and it took no time at all to find the place, right off the freeway.

we scampered up the stairs like little kids, giggling and snorting the whole way.  and then the saddest thing in the whole wide world happened:

close? close to what? okay, not funny.  the level of disappointment was pretty stinking high.  but yeah...

I. WAS. PISSED.

all we could do was peek in to catch a glimpse of what would not be - on that day, anyway.

oh, so sad. and not knowing much about the area, we were at a loss as to where to go to drown out sorrows. luckily, our mobile yelp apps came through and we found ourselves at plan B:

i'd heard lots of good things about this place, although i had no idea what was so special about it until we walked in.  it didn't take long before we realized that it's basically like chipotle, only with pizza. you walk along the counter, picking all of the things you want to put on your pizza, and then it's served to you piping hot out of the oven.

it was pretty tasty, but it wasn't served in a toilet, dammit. 

we will meet soon, magic restroom cafe. count on it.