is it over yet?

i hate politics.  i hate election season.  i despise all the trash talking that the candidates do about each other.  the constant commercials on tv that are almost never anything but negative are exhausting.

and i'm sure you'll agree that this election has been particularly ugly and stomach-turning.  it's been truly horrible, and i'm literally counting the days till it's over.  it seems like every day brings something new and disgusting, and i think the whole country is just holding their breath till election day comes and goes.

last week's "trump tapes" brought out all kinds of nasty.  it's not like we didn't know the guy was terrible to begin with, with his racism and misogyny and complete lack of judgment.  but he pretty much confirmed what a piece of shit he really is during that conversation that was inadvertently recorded by a hot mic.

i'd never heard of kelly oxford until a friend of mine joined over 1,000,000 women who responded to her call to share their first sexual assaults via twitter.  in her disgust over those recordings, she wanted to prove that instances like what trump described so nonchalantly as "locker room talk" weren't just stats and are definitely not okay.  and so i decided to post my own tweet, because i think that speaking out could possibly help others who are going through or have gone through similar experiences.

and then this morning, my mind wandered back into that unhappy place when it hit me that the bean is now exactly that age.  when you're 9, life should be happy and free of fear and stress and sadness and humiliation.  and thank god that she is all of those things, and more.

i really don't talk about it much.  i try not to even think about it anymore, because it just leads to a whole lot of emotions and feelings that i just don't welcome into my life.  not to mention, it reminds me of how i was treated when i finally came forward and said something to my family about what had happened - which i'd only done because my mom had shared with me that chester the molester was again in a situation where he was left alone with young girls to care for.  if you've been reading my blog for awhile, you might remember that ugly time in my life when i learned that just because people are part of your family, you can't always rely on them to support you when you need them.

and this all just reminds me that they're never too young to learn right from wrong, or to be careful with their words and their bodies.  as parents, part of our job is to make sure that we teach our kids - girls and boys - to be assertive and confident, that they should always be treated with respect and show respect to others.  it's definitely a wake-up call to have that discussion with my girls, which i plan to do immediately.

and if there are any of *those* family members who still come here and read this stuff, i hope none of your loved ones have to experience what you put me through.  and know that i never forget.  ever.

sorry not sorry.